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THE 6 KEYS
This philosophy and thoughts (keys) on a good relationship-boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife,
love/love, friends, fellow workers/students, and even fellow athletes-mostly focusing on the intimacy relationships:
(I) FRIENDSHIP
Practically all relationships should involve a good, trusting, fun, 'adoring', loyal, open friendships.
Friends know more about one another than to just mere acqantainces or mere 'erotic lovers'. With this knowledge and 'closeness'
the two have as friends, they can also trust one another not to blab to other people the other's secrets or private information.
Friendship is one of the most sacred relations anybody can have, and one of the most important.
(II) COMMUNICATION
In any relationship, if there is no or not enough communication between the two, at least one person is going to get
hurt. (Even in sports-----if two outfielders are running to catch the same pop-fly and nobody shouts they have it, they are
likely to collide and get seriously hurt) Open communications about how one another feels, where the relationship is going
and even asking questions and just talking or chatting will not only clear things up to know how well, or not well, everything
is going and where it could go, but it will also bring the two closer together. But the two mustn't get upset at each other's
feelings or thoughts every time there is a disagreement, the other will never always think or feel like you do. Keep an open
mind. Also, don't tell the other everything about yourself (key6). If you want them to keep 'coming back', per-si, you yourself
have to be interesting, and mysterious. Some people find it attractive, even sexy, when one appears a bit mysterious. It
also helps you not be seen too predictable. But most of all, talk and communicate as friends, even best friends to make it
better.
(III) DON'T GET TOO CLOSE (KNOW THE PERSONAL SPACE)
You get too close, you get attached; you
get attached, you merge with that person; you merge with that person, you have the tendency to change as the person you really
are, thus your are what they want you to be, or you become somebody else---not yourself! In real-life, this merging is extremely
unsafe. People tend to become more careless and vulnerable and thus they get used, abused, and walked al over upon, and not
even realize it. You must remain who you are, and not change and become one with the other, that only happens symbolically
in marriage. In the beginning of a fresh -new relationship it is perfectly normal to be all lovey-dovey, but people have
to start being themselves if they become a Klingon from Star Track when they 'hang all over or around the other too much'.
You must put space between the two of you in order to do you own thing and they their own thing and not lose sight of who
they are. (If one really doesn't know who they are inside and what they really like to do and even what they feel as if they
have to do with their lives, their relationships with their inner-self is not going to exist, or it is going to be a bad one.
If one can't have a relationship with their inner-self, or at least a beginning of one and knowing who they are, they will
not succeed in a really good relationship with somebody else-or even God [key5] ) A certain amount of space is good, but
don't get too far away, or the two won't even be close enough to being friends. If being six inches away was merging, six
feet was too far to even be friends, four feet was good friends and three feet was best friends, try for a successful relationship,
2 to 2 1/2 feet-even where you two have to shout to hear one another for being too close or too far away.
(IV) PATIENCE
Most of us are in a hurry to start a relationship with somebody, any kind of relationship, but still focusing on the
intimate relationships we all encounter in our lives. We are too egar to be with somebody, whether just hanging out, studying,
playing sports or just being in the others presence, or they in yours. It all takes time. Patience is a viture we all do
not have or chose to ignore. Everything takes time. It takes time to study before taking a test, without knowing about the
subject, as in the other party in the relationship people work towards or already have, how can anybody succeed in having
a good time with somebody. Nobody can get along with somebody or expect to be with somebody without knowing a fair amount
of who they are, what they like and dislike, referring back to Keys one and two, friendship and communication. Dont hurry
into any kind of relationship, it all takes time. One step at a time, that is all it takes. Believe me, if you try to hurry
things, you loss track of who you are and who they are. It may be easier said than done, but it is one of the safest ways
to go.
(V) INNER RELATIONS AND HIGHER RELATIONSHIP
In order to have a relationship with somebody else you must
first improve your relationship with yourself. This can only be done through obtaining a better relationship with God. How
can anyone have a relationship with anybody if they cant have one with themselves? Its like trying to get to know everybody
else before you even know yourself. How do you what you like and dislike. It is kind of pointless trying to get to know
other people before you do, that is perhaps the most dangerous thing anyone can do. The relationship will falter, and one
will wonder why it did and ponder about it for a while, quite possibly blaming the other party when they in fact never knew
what they did or who they are. (When this happens, they are the ones who usually changed during the relationship or before
one actually started, which echoes key number 3.) But, before anything we must know God and have a better relationship with
Him. For only He knows us the best. We were created in His image, thus we must understand that he loves all, and since we
are created in his image and posses this love, we must turn this love towards ourselves. How can anybody have any kind of
relationship with anybody if we can to have a relationship with God. ( Not to write on a fully theological aspect, but in
most religions, God or some deity has a supreme force and/or love for all. To know and understand such a God makes one feel
and live more in peace, thus realizing and living with an open heart, mind and eyes of the soul. This all relates back to
the other four keys, for without the fifth, they are not possible.)
Work with having a better relationship with yourself
and God, and all else will follow.
(VI) THE MYSTERY OF ONESELF (ALSO KNOWN AS THE ONION THERORY)
One must
not and can not know everything about the other, it is practically impossible and extremely dangerous. Let s take watching
a movie or a theatrical production. In order for us to stay in our seat, watch the movie and remain interested in what is
going on in front of us, there has to be some kind of mystery behind it all. If we knew every single thing that was going
to happen in such a show, why would we stay around for the ending, it would be pointless and a waist of time. This goes pretty
much the same for relationships of all types. When we meet somebody for the first time we begin to tell them little things
about ourselves: name, age, job or status in school, and it usually goes off from that to hobbies, activities and a few other
things that interest you that basically say who you are right off the bat. If we just come right on out and tell them every-single
detail about ourselves and our life we will scare them off so fast they will run right away, and the second is that there
will be noting what so ever to learn about you, so why would they stick around: you're boring. My philosophy is this, dont
treat them just like an audience, but tell them little by little, one step at a time, one layer of your personality and history
at a time to keep them interested and out of harms way. You want to keep them interested. You want to keep the mystery,
an honest (and positive) mystery, of yourself that will make the other want to learn more about and become interested in you.
Suspense is another good word to use. Keep them on their toes, but in a good and wholesome. Be sporadic, yet in a way that
will combine both yours and theirs likes and similar interests. Keep people on their toes every once in a while, yet dont
scare them off. For some this is hard to do because they like to share a lot about themselves right off the bat, not knowing
how to shut up. Many do this subconsciously so that too makes it dangerous. Patience comes into play when trying to get to
know people and when God, or what ever deity you believe in, feels as if it is time, little hints that coincidences will occur
that will show that it is time to share The Onion Theory also provides some good insight to this key
AuthorChristopher
T. Pelletier
The Six Keys is a copyright and owned by ME PRODUCTIONS INC.
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